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Laughing? Don’t…The ‘Tiger King’ Has Announced A Presidential Bid
Joe Exotic, the “Tiger King” celebrity who is presently incarcerated in a federal facility, defies the limitations of his situation and brashly announces his intention to run for president in 2024.
The notorious Joseph Maldonado-Passage, commonly known as “Joe Exotic,” is serving a 20-year sentence for a murder-for-hire scheme when he surprised the world by declaring his candidacy for president. This former big-cat kingpin, who is currently fighting cancer while incarcerated, has made his political ambitions known on his own website while remaining silent about any prospective party connections.
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“Thank you for your interest in my Campaign. Yes, I know I am in Federal Prison and you might think this is a joke but it’s not. It is my Constitutional right to do this even from here,” the statement began. “I have been put here only because of the corruption in the Department of Justice, three felons that were told how to lie under oath to further this agenda, two corrupt Assistant U.S. Attorneys, two corrupt FBI Agents. and one corrupt Federal Wildlife Agent.”
Our passionate candidate promises to ardently represent Americans, drawing on his distinctive experiences as a former zookeeper. He is acutely aware of the frustration caused by political dishonesty. With this knowledge at his disposal, he is better equipped to tirelessly pursue the truth and advocate for the demands of the populace.
“I am here because I have a world platform to make these politicians listen to your and my concerns and give us some answers for once because all they do is lie to all of us, take our hard earned money calling it taxes, and give it away to foreign countries without them giving us anything back,” he said.
As he came to a conclusion, he graciously admitted his own shortcomings, empathized with the American people for their own past mistakes, and sincerely pleaded with them to look past them and consider the potential significance of his future achievements.
“So put aside that I am gay, that I am in prison for now, that I used drugs in the past, that I had more than one boyfriend at once and that Carole hates my guts. This all has not a thing to do with me being able to be your voice,” he continued. “The best thing you have going for supporting me is that I am used to fighting my whole life just to get by. I am broke, they have taken everything I ever worked for away, and it’s time we take this country back.”
Maldonado-Passage is a political trailblazer who emulates Eugene V. Debs, a socialist who won roughly a million votes in 1920 while imprisoned for refusing to register to vote during World War I.
