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While the explanation was amusing, not everyone was buying it. Social media immediately lit up with theories—some outrageous, others just plain entertaining. There were jokes about secret societies, Illuminati beat-downs, and even a few nods to old-school memes. One commenter simply said: “RIP, DMX.”
But the more serious (and speculative) discussions veered into Musk’s alleged substance use. The New York Times, citing unnamed sources, claimed the Tesla and SpaceX CEO has used ketamine frequently enough to affect his bladder and travels with a med-box containing up to 20 pills, including what appeared to be Adderall. They also claimed he “took Ecstasy and psychedelic mushrooms” during his time with DOGE.
Musk himself previously downplayed his drug habits, telling his biographer, “I really don’t like doing illegal drugs.” However, he’s been vocal in the past about ketamine’s value for treating depression, calling it a “better alternative” to more conventional treatments.
Despite the rumors, even the Times couldn’t say whether Musk was actually under the influence while working at the White House. In a curious admission, their report stated: “It is unclear whether Mr. Musk, 53, was taking drugs when he became a fixture at the White House this year and was handed the power to slash the federal bureaucracy.”
Translation: They don’t know. But that didn’t stop the speculation from running wild.
And to be fair, Musk’s story about roughhousing with his kid isn’t far-fetched. Any parent of a toddler knows how strong little arms and legs can be when they’re swinging without warning. One conservative writer even joked he had a torn labrum courtesy of his own offspring—and no ketamine involved.
Say what you want about Musk, but the man knows how to make an exit. Whether he’s revolutionizing spaceflight, cutting government waste, or taking a punch from a kindergartner, he keeps things interesting.
The DOGE program might be done for now, but with Musk, there’s always a next act.
And whether that next act involves space colonization, AI breakthroughs, or just being the world’s richest dad with a black eye, one thing’s for sure—Elon Musk doesn’t fade into the background. He walks out swinging, even if it’s thanks to a kid named after a stealth jet.
