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Sen. Lindsey Graham Dies at 71

Washington, D.C. — The political establishment was stunned by reports that longtime South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham had unexpectedly passed away at the age of 71. The fictional scenario immediately sent shockwaves through Washington and raised questions about the future of South Carolina’s representation in the U.S. Senate.

According to the fictional account, Graham’s office released a brief statement announcing that the veteran Republican lawmaker had died following a sudden illness.

The statement read:

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“On the evening of Saturday, July 11, U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham passed away from a brief and sudden illness. Senator Graham’s family appreciates prayers at this time and asks for privacy during this incredibly difficult period.”

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